Give Yourself Permission (and Space) to Do the Thing

I recently read I Didn’t Do the Thing Today: Letting go of the Productivity Guilt by Madeline Dore. It is such an inspiring book about working with our own rhythms and motivations. Creating the circumstances for you to work, rather than solely focusing on the task getting done. If you want to feel good and have your hand held through your tasks, read this book.

Anyway, it got me thinking:

You’ve got a goal. You’re inspired. You might even have a plan.
But somehow, it’s not happening.

Not because you’re lazy. Not because you lack discipline.
But because you haven’t fully given yourself permission—and the space—to actually do the thing.

And you’re not alone.

In her beautifully honest book Dore reminds us that life doesn’t always follow a tidy to-do list. We ebb and flow. Some days we’re on top of everything; other days, just making tea feels like a win.

What if we stopped expecting perfection, and instead focused on making space to begin—imperfectly, compassionately, realistically?

You Don’t Need More Motivation—You Need Permission

We often treat personal goals like bonuses—something we’ll get to if there’s time after everything else. But the truth is:

If it matters, it deserves a place—not just leftovers.

Dore writes about how chasing the “ideal day” can trap us in comparison and disappointment. Giving yourself permission means letting go of that perfect version of how it should look, and embracing how it can look today.

Try asking:

• What if I stop waiting to earn this goal?

• What if showing up as I am is enough?

Commitment Needs a Container

Intentions are powerful, but they need structure.
If a habit matters, it needs a home in your day—not just a mental post-it.

Create a gentle container for your commitment. Not a rigid schedule, but a supportive space. That could be:

• A recurring time block in your calendar

• A quiet corner for reflection or journaling

• A notebook on your bedside table

• A simple Google Task that reappears each week

Dore talks about rituals as “bookends” to our days. You don’t need to overhaul your life. Just start with one act that invites you in.

Redesign Your Environment (Gently)

New habits don’t stick when we’re operating inside the same old systems.
So ask: what around me is making this harder than it needs to be?

Could you:

• Put your journal in plain sight?

• Create a calming space to stretch or meditate?

• Let go of one obligation that’s crowding everything else out?

This isn’t about hacking productivity. It’s about creating a life that supports who you are—and who you’re becoming.

Stop Waiting for the “Right Time”

The “right time” is often a myth. Life is unpredictable. Schedules get messy. Energy fluctuates.

But if we wait for everything to be perfect, we’ll keep postponing what matters.

So instead: Start where you are. Small. Real. Human. One step. One moment. One “thing” at a time.

Gentle Questions to Reflect On

Take 10 minutes this week and explore:

• What is something I keep saying I want—but haven’t made space for?

• What would giving myself full permission to pursue it look like?

• What’s one thing I can remove, shift, or soften to support this commitment?

You don’t have to do it all today. You don’t even have to do the “thing.”
You just have to make a little space. And trust that’s enough.

You’re Not Behind—You’re Becoming

Madeline Dore beautifully reminds us that our days are not failures just because we didn’t cross off every task.
Your progress isn’t measured in boxes ticked, but in the space you give yourself to grow.

So today, give yourself permission.
Make a little room.
And take one imperfect step forward.

The Power of Circling Back: Why Revisiting Your Goals is the Real Key to Progress

We’ve all been there.

We set a new goal, start a habit, or commit to a fresh routine with the best of intentions. The energy is high. Motivation is strong. For a few days—or even a few weeks—it all goes smoothly.

And then… life happens.
The routine breaks.
The goal fades into the background.
And we’re left with that familiar feeling of having let it slide again.

But what if falling off track isn’t the problem?

What if the real issue is not having a system in place to circle back?

Habits Don’t Need to Be Perfect. They Need to Be Adjustable.

The mistake many people make when trying to build a new habit is assuming they’ll do it perfectly, every day, forever.

That’s unrealistic.

The real power lies in checking in—giving yourself the space to ask:

• How’s this going?

• Am I keeping up?

• Do I need to tweak something to make it more doable?

• Is this still aligned with what I need or want?

These honest reviews are what keep your goals alive—flexible, evolving, and sustainable.

Set It, Then Schedule It

The secret to sustainable progress isn’t just setting the goal. It’s scheduling your check-ins.

Here’s a simple system to try:

1. Start with a clear intention.
   Whether it’s meditating daily, reducing screen time, or exercising every day — set the habit.

2. Use something like Google Tasks to schedule regular reviews.

   • Create a weekly check-in task.

   • On that day, spend just 5–10 minutes reviewing how things are going.

     • “What went well this week?”

     • “What didn’t?”

     • “Am I on track to meet my goal?”

     • “What needs adjusting?”

   • Adjust the goal if needed. Make it easier. Or challenge yourself more if it feels too light.

3. Layer in monthly or quarterly reviews.
   These give you a broader view: Is this habit supporting the bigger picture? Is it still relevant?

   • Is this habit still relevant? Is it still serving me?

     This is especially useful when:

     • Life circumstances change (new job, season, responsibilities)

     • You feel stuck or bored

     • Your original goal no longer feels exciting or aligned

   • Title this “Monthly Reset” or “Quarterly Review + Refocus”

4. Add the review to your calendar or daily task list.
   Don’t rely on memory. Use your tools. You can even set recurring reminders so it becomes part of your rhythm.

   • Use template documents with these questions ready to go.

Progress Isn’t Linear — It’s Iterative

When you start circling back regularly, something powerful happens.

You stop abandoning your goals.
You stop feeling like a failure when things slip.
Instead, you begin to treat your habits like living things—responsive and adjustable.

It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being committed enough to pause, reflect, and reset.

Your Next Step

If you’re already working on something, open up your calendar or Google Tasks now. Add a recurring weekly check-in.

That small move might be the difference between a forgotten intention and a fully embedded habit that genuinely changes your life.

Because goals don’t fail from lack of effort. They fail from lack of review.

So circle back.

Often.

Kindly.

Intentionally.

You Don’t Rise to the Level of Your Goals—You Fall to the Level of Your Systems

I recently read Atomic Habits by James Clear (phenomenal book by the way), and one sentence really stood out to me.

“You Don’t Rise to the Level of Your Goals—You Fall to the Level of Your Systems”

This quote speaks to something essential—something I see all the time in my coaching practice. It's not about trying harder. It’s about building something that actually supports you.

Maybe you want to get healthier, grow your business, deepen your relationships, or finally make time for something that matters to you. We’re taught to set goals, to aim high—and there’s nothing wrong with that. But if you’ve ever set a meaningful goal and still found yourself falling short, you’re not alone. And you’re certainly not broken.

Goals Give Direction—Systems Create Momentum

Goals are important. They give us a target. But systems are what carry us there.

Think of it this way:

• Goal: Run a marathon.

• System: A plan that helps you build endurance step by step.

Without a system, even the clearest goal can feel out of reach. But with the right system—even a modest goal can lead to remarkable change over time.

Why Systems Are Kinder Than Willpower

It’s easy to think we just need more motivation or willpower. But the truth is, motivation comes and goes. It’s not always there when we need it. Systems, on the other hand, can support us even on the hard days.

Let’s say you want to eat better. If you’re relying on willpower every time you open the fridge, it’s going to be exhausting. But if you’ve set up a system—like prepping meals ahead of time or removing the friction from healthy choices—you don’t have to constantly push. The system holds you, even when you’re tired or stressed.

Good systems are compassionate. They meet you where you are.

What Coaching Can Help You Discover

In coaching, we don’t just talk about goals—we explore the systems behind the scenes. The routines, environments, and habits that shape your results every day, often without you noticing.

If something in your life isn’t working, you probably don’t need to be tougher on yourself. You might just need a system that works with you, not against you.

Here are a few gentle questions to reflect on:

• What are the patterns or routines that quietly shape my days?

• What in my environment is helping—or hindering—my growth?

• What small, sustainable shift could I start with today?

The Takeaway

It’s great to dream big. But transformation happens when we zoom in—when we build consistent, sustainable systems that carry us forward.

If your current systems aren’t supporting the life you want, it might be time for a reset. And if you’re not sure where to start, that’s exactly where coaching comes in.

Want to talk about the systems you're living by—and how to design better ones?

Coaching vs. Therapy:What’s the difference?

tl;dr Coaching is looking forward. Therapy is unearthing your past.

One topic that keeps coming up in my intro calls with people is the difference between coaching and therapy. On the surface it can look the same: 2 chairs facing each other, an open space for your emotions and to be heard, expansive questions, as well as a commitment to confidentiality. Both aim to support individuals in overcoming challenges and reaching their goals.

However they operate with quite distinct principles and methodologies. Understanding the nuances between coaching and therapy will help you choose the right path for your needs, and also understand what to discuss in the different spaces. 

Defining Coaching and Therapy:

Coaching:

Coaching is a collaborative process that focuses on achieving specific goals and unlocking your potential to maximise your performance. Coaches work with you to identify goals, develop strategies, and provide support and accountability as you work towards your desired outcomes. Coaching typically operates on a forward-looking basis, emphasising action-oriented steps to create positive change in the present and future.

A key focus of coaching is establishing a goal and making a plan to achieve it. Defining the, parameters (who, what, where, when + numbers), then figuring out the “how”.

Therapy:

Therapy, on the other hand, delves into the deeper aspects of mental and emotional well-being. Therapists help you explore and understand your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours, often addressing past experiences and traumas that may be impacting your present life. Therapy aims to promote healing, self-awareness, and psychological growth, with a focus on resolving inner conflicts and improving overall mental health and functioning.

Key Differences:

Focus and Scope:

Coaching primarily focuses on specific goals and objectives related to personal or professional development. It is solution-oriented, aiming to empower you to take action and achieve tangible results in areas such as career advancement, health, or personal fulfilment. 

Therapy, on the other hand, addresses a broader range of psychological issues and concerns, including mental health disorders, trauma, addiction, and relationships.

Time Orientation:

Coaching typically focuses on the present and future. Setting and working towards future goals, identifying obstacles, developing strategies, and taking steps towards realising your aspirations. 

Therapy often involves exploring past experiences and their impact on current thoughts and behaviours. Therapists delve into childhood experiences, traumas, or unresolved emotions to promote healing and self-understanding.

The overlap:

It is quite common for there to be an overlap in both coaching and therapy. You may find yourself making goals and commitments in therapy, establishing new patterns and working out obstacles. In coaching you may go deep into discussions of why obstacles exist, what are the factors that are in play right now. You may feel scared or overwhelmed about goals or plans or repeating past behaviour. A coach may explore the “why” behind this to see if we can unlock this and keep moving forward.  

Choosing the Right Path:

Deciding between coaching and therapy depends on your individual needs. So, here are some considerations to help guide your decision:

• Clarity of Goals: If you have specific goals you want to achieve, such as career and business advancement or an improved lifestyle, coaching may be the right choice.

• Emotional Well-being: If you're struggling with emotional challenges, past traumas, or mental health issues, therapy may provide the support and guidance you need to heal and thrive.

• Preference for Action vs. Insight: If you're focused on taking practical steps towards your goals and value accountability and action-oriented support, coaching may be more suitable. 

• If you're seeking deeper self-awareness and understanding of underlying patterns, therapy may be the better option.

• However, it is common for people have both coaching and therapy! It can be helpful to work towards something, whilst you are delving deep into your past with someone else. Keeping things moving and enriching your current/future self, whilst taking time to unearth and relate to your deeper self.

At the end of the day, both coaching and therapy put you in the centre. Dedicated time to explore and work through a topic. Deep emotions and all topics are fine in both, it is the responsibility of the coach and therapist to keep things on the right path. Both offer valuable pathways for personal growth and transformation

I hope this helps you make a more informed choice for your unique needs and aspirations. Whether you're looking to achieve specific goals, navigate life transitions, or address emotional challenges, the support of a skilled coach or therapist can empower you to create positive change and live a more fulfilling life.

If you still need help deciding what is right for you, book an intro call with me. We can discuss if coaching is the right path, or if therapy would be more beneficial.